13. “Thick?! Did this dick call me fat?!”

13. “Thick?! Did this dick call me fat?!”

http://interracialloving.com/

At the prompting of some friends, I joined OkCupid. The first guy I went out with (the one who didn’t send me a dick pic) was a pedicab driver. He brought his dog to our date. The dog was wearing a dress. Over the course of three cocktails, the guy told me he owned a ferret and kept chickens. In his house. Indoor chickens. No second date. But, it turns out, driving a pedicab gives you incredible glutes and thighs.

The second guy from OkCupid I went out with was Omar. On his profile, he was thi

s beautiful Hispanic man with giant muscled arms, thick dark hair, and beautiful dark skin. In real life, he probably had been all of those things — about 10 years ago. Still, he was cute enough. And into me. Even though he said he usually “liked his women dumb.” We didn’t really hit it off. On the way home, he sent me these flirty texts about how he wished he had his arms around my “thick, hot body” and what he wanted to do to my “thick little body.” I read it and was all, “Thick?! Did this dick call me fat?!”

So, I never responded. Asshole. And when I told my beautiful Hispanic therapist about how offended I was, she started laughing. Hard. And said, “Oh, mija. That’s a compliment. For Latin men, thick is beautiful.”